“We have an opportunity that we’d like you to consider.” It was an unexpected call. We thought we knew what was ahead for us. We had already told the churches we were serving that we would be around for another year, but, as it often happens, we make our plans, then God changes them.
In our 30 years of marriage, my husband and I have moved eight times. Five of those times have been to a new community, a new town with new faces. At times, I have embraced the moves. It can be exciting after all. I often dream about how God might use us next or what new adventure might be ahead. Sometimes, the moves have felt more like an opportunity to run away from something I didn’t want to face, especially if I felt like things were getting too hard.
What I didn’t realize until recently is that each move has brought a certain amount of loss and grief.
I always stayed focused more on the opportunity it presented, and frequently I was not awake to the loss it was creating. I did not recognize, or even acknowledge, the feelings of sadness and loneliness as loss and grief. I tried very hard to ignore it and cast blame on others. I’m very good at turning my different feelings into anger and resentment rather than taking some time to unpack and acknowledge the real emotion behind it.
When my father died in July of 2021 amid the backdrop of the pandemic, I first focused on what needed to be done. Contact the funeral home, write the obituary, organize the family meal, contact the church, plus manage and organize everyone else. Accommodate everyone else. Ignore my own feelings. This is how I have always managed difficulties. Do this, and don’t do that. This time though, after the funeral was over, and I was back at my own home, a few precious ladies from our church reminded me to stop and let myself recover, grieve. And, because of the work I’ve been doing, becoming more aware of my patterns of behavior from using the enneagram, I listened to them.
Now, several months later, as I read these words in Isaiah 61, I’ve spent some time recognizing that feelings of loss and grief have always been there. And, God has given me the freedom to feel them and express them in a new way.
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord Has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn.
Isaiah 61:1-2
These words by Isaiah were a prophecy of the coming Messiah, Jesus. These words were both a way for the people to recognize the Messiah when he came and a way for us to experience God now.
As I reflected on these words, I made a list of the many losses I’ve experienced in my life. The list included things related to my personal identity, loss of friends to death, loss of relationships because of something I did, loss of relationships because of distance and time, and loss of dreams or hopes. So many losses and I’ve never taken the time to grieve any of them. I’ve been held captive to these feelings because I ran from the pain and the discomfort that would come if I acknowledged any of it.
Until now. This is what this passage gives me as I recognize Jesus in these words.
Jesus binds up the brokenhearted. He gives me the strength to work through my grief and heal the wounds from the past that left me with a broken spirit. Jesus gave me the strength to endure the heartbreak.
Jesus frees the captives. God has set me free from the burdens of my past and helped me find new courage to live fully and share this message of freedom with others.
Jesus comforts those who mourn. There is a huge comfort and sense of real peace in knowing God sees my grief, my pain, my losses, and is right there with me.
Jesus experienced this grief when he was alive on this earth, and he still experiences this grief now. He lost loved ones; he understands our loss. He sees the brokenness in the world and identifies with our sadness. He grieves the destruction and violations happening in this world. This world is not as it was intended to be, and he knows it and grieves it. God really does get it.
My friend, take a moment, take several moments. Consider your own losses. Acknowledge the sadness that comes from loss, allow yourself to grieve, and then be set free from this pain so that it no longer holds you captive. This is the beauty of our relationship with God. Embrace it.
What’s Next?
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