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Where Is My Rest?

This has been a tremendously hard year for my family.

In March, we lost my mom. Then in June, my daughter-in-law underwent an emergency C-section at just 29 weeks—it was necessary to save both her life and my grandson’s. By God’s grace, they are both getting stronger every day, and for that, I am deeply grateful.

Still, these life-altering events have left me reeling. They’ve stirred up a spiritual struggle—prompting me to ask hard questions and reevaluate how I live, how I cope, and where I draw my strength. Questions like:

Where is my rest? Where is my strength?

“Look Up!”

This year, my focus is on two simple yet profound words: “look up.” Initially, these words served as a lighthearted reminder while playing a number game on my phone. I often needed to remind myself to glance at the top row of numbers to avoid missing anything. However, “look up” has recently taken on a deeper, spiritual significance for me, reminding me to fix my eyes on Jesus.

I tend to dwell on things I can’t change, replaying past words, actions, or imagined scenarios in my mind. Sometimes, I get stuck in negative thinking, unable to shift to a more positive perspective or understand things from someone else’s viewpoint. At times, I feel isolated in my struggles or believe that God doesn’t want me to be happy. There are moments when my comfort zone holds me back, preventing me from taking action. It’s all too easy to create our own problems.

Three Ways to Manage Leadership Expectations

Over the past few months, we have delved into Brené Brown’s insights on emotions as outlined in her book, Atlas of the Heart, with a specific emphasis on understanding their impact on women’s leadership. We’ve examined uncertainty and comparison. This month, we’re turning our attention to the intricate dynamics of expectations.

According to Brown, unmet expectations often give rise to a range of emotions, including disappointment, regret, discouragement, resignation, and frustration. She categorizes expectations into two main types: those that are unexamined and unexpressed, and those that are consciously acknowledged. Both types have the potential to significantly influence our leadership trajectories if left unaddressed.

To navigate this terrain effectively, consider the following steps:

Avoid the Pitfalls of Comparison

We recently began to explore Brené Brown’s work on emotions as presented in her book Atlas of the Heart. Our focus is on emotions in relationship to leadership. Last month we looked at the impact of uncertainty on leadership. in this writing, we will look at comparison.

According to Brown, while comparison is not a specific emotion, it is an activity we can’t avoid.

Emotions and Leadership: Dealing with Uncertainty

Over the past few years I have become interested in the work of Brene Brown, a researcher and author, most known for her work on vulnerability and courage. In her most recent book, Atlas of the Heart, she digs into the realm of emotions. There she explores and describes the experiences that, in her words, “Define what it means to be human.” Over the next few months, I will share with you some of Brown’s work on emotions, specifically in relationship to leadership and our ability to lead from a place of health.

So, let’s begin with uncertainty, a part of life we can’t escape.

Self-Awareness

When you hear the expression self-awareness, how do you react? What thoughts, feelings, and emotions do you have? Take a moment to think about this.

Just answering those questions is a step towards self-awareness. A definition of self-awareness is the ability to tune in to your feelings, thoughts, and actions. Another definition is a conscious knowledge of one’s own character, feelings, desires, and motivations. Your response to these questions also communicates how open you are to having self-awareness.

Being Free

We just celebrated Independence Day, the Fourth of July, the day we celebrate our freedom. But what is freedom? How do we know we have it? How do we really experience it?

Identity

Who am I? It feels like a loaded question. My husband and I just moved to a new community. We are in the middle of meeting new people, which means we spend a lot of our time right now telling people who we are. This has been a challenging question for me. As I have become more self-aware, I realized I have been trying to build my identity on the wrong foundation.

As I’ve researched the meaning of identity, I’ve found the best definition is a true sense of self. Our identity is impacted by the unique set of characteristics that make me, me, and you, you. This includes our unique qualities, experiences, interests, genetic characteristics, and the relationships we experience in our lives. Our view of ourselves is impacted by each of these things, and how we view ourselves impacts how we interact with the rest of the world.

A Butterfly’s Journey

Finding Freedom through a bull thistle.

“I noticed the way you reacted to the death of your cousin and I can see that you are very fragile right now. I believe this move will be good for you.” These are the words of a woman that recently found out my husband and I are moving. We’ve been living in a small community in northwest Ohio for the past five years. We announced to our church this past week that we are being appointed to another church and would be moving at the end of February. We have gotten a variety of responses to this announcement but these particular words caught me off guard.

There is some truth to her statement. This move will be good for me, for us, but not because I am fragile. In fact, I think I am emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthier than I have been in my entire adult life.

Falling Asleep

There are moments in my life, especially in the afternoon after lunch, when I find myself procrastinating on something I don’t want to do, like my bookkeeping or writing. Sometimes, it’s not just me trying to procrastinate but more a desire to ignore what may be going on inside of me instead. It’s in these moments I just want to close my eyes and let the world go by. I want to fall asleep and ignore my responsibilities and my troubles.

I can get pretty frustrated with myself in these moments. The temptation to go take a nap can be so enticing. Yet, I know if I do this, I will feel even more frustrated with myself afterwards because I wasted the time.

Recently, I was reading in Luke 22 and found I am not alone in this.