Being Free

We just celebrated Independence Day, the Fourth of July, the day we celebrate our freedom. But what is freedom? How do we know we have it? How do we really experience it? 

In the dictionary, we find these definitions for freedom: it is the quality or state of being free; the absence of necessity, coercion or constraint in choice or action; and, the liberation from slavery, restraint, or the power of another.  It strikes me as I read these definitions that the freedom we really need isn’t always the freedom we seek.

When I was a teenager preparing to go off to college, I couldn’t wait to leave my home and start life on my own. I was so excited to be free from the rules of my parents and escape the constraints of high school relationships. I was sure I would find something better out there than what I had. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my family and my community, but I was sure I would be able to live more freely away from the constraints I felt. The freedom I longed for became a burden I’ve carried for most of my life.

The burden was my desire to be seen by others while also not wanting my life disrupted by others. It has been a desire to be at peace with myself, and others, while also behaving in ways counter to my own peace. Being good, behaving the “right” way was my constraint, but behaving in a way opposite of my values did not give me freedom either. This instead buried me further in the chains of guilt, anger, and resentment. My life became about being right, good, and better, striving harder and harder to be successful so I would live up to this image I thought would give me the peace I was seeking.

I remained a slave to the law.

I have been a believer of Jesus Christ since I was a young child. How did I find myself so imprisoned when I believed Jesus had saved me? During the pandemic, I did a deep dive into understanding myself better, becoming more self-aware, and gaining clarity of my core motivations through a deep dive into the Enneagram. As I discovered more about myself and also spent more time in scripture, I began to see how I had placed the burden on myself to “be a good Christian girl” above receiving the mercy and grace Jesus fully embodies for us. It’s the difference between what J.D. Walt calls “believing and behaving” and “beholding and becoming.” It’s also how we can understand more clearly the words of Galatians 5: 1.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” 

Galatians 5:1

Finally, I got it! I’m set free from “good behavior”, and, in my freedom, I am becoming more like Christ. This has given me the true internal peace I have desired all my life. I’m still a work in progress, but I am so grateful for this new understanding of what it means to be free! 

Being free from these chains has helped me let go of my former ways of harsh judgements of both myself and others. It has helped me live life by the Spirit in the way Galatians 5:13-14 declares:

“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Galatians 5:13-14

Receiving the mercy and grace of Jesus is to accept and love myself in the way Jesus loves and accepts me, so I am free to truly love my neighbor as myself. This is freedom!

Are you still caught in the cycle of believing and behaving? Are you ready to start beholding and becoming? Spiritual and Enneagram coaching is one way to find freedom. Contact me for a free consultation to discuss what this might look like for you.