There are moments in my life, especially in the afternoon after lunch, when I find myself procrastinating on something I don’t want to do, like my bookkeeping or writing. Sometimes, it’s not just me trying to procrastinate but more a desire to ignore what may be going on inside of me instead. It’s in these moments I just want to close my eyes and let the world go by. I want to fall asleep and ignore my responsibilities and my troubles.
I can get pretty frustrated with myself in these moments. The temptation to go take a nap can be so enticing. Yet, I know if I do this, I will feel even more frustrated with myself afterwards because I wasted the time.
Recently, I was reading in Luke 22 and found I am not alone in this.
In this section of scripture, we find Jesus and the disciples gathered at dinner in an upper room. This is the story of the last supper and Jesus sharing with them about what was to happen to him. To say that this dinner, and what Jesus was sharing, stirred up a variety of emotions is an understatement. The disciples went from questioning which one of them would betray Jesus to who was the greatest of them all, then to a discussion about pulling out their swords.
Jesus was trying to prepare them for what was next, but, as usual, they each got caught up in what it meant for each of them individually, rather than the bigger picture of things. Jesus puts an end to the conversation, and they depart to the Mount of Olives.
The text tells us this is where Jesus often goes and this time the disciples follow. Now, let’s compare what Jesus does to what the disciples do. Jesus encourages the disciples to pray so that they won’t fall into temptation, then he moves away from them just enough so he can focus on his own prayer. Here’s what happens with the disciples:
He [Jesus] got up from prayer, went back to the disciples and found them asleep, drugged by grief.
Luke 22: 45 (The Message)
The disciples fell asleep! At times I have read this and stopped at those words in judgment of their inability to stay awake. This time, I read the words that followed, “drugged by grief,” and my heart skipped a beat in conviction to the deeper meaning.
Earlier that night the disciples had learned of the Lord’s approaching demise and that the Kingdom of God was not what they were expecting. It was not a kingdom on earth to be fought for with swords but a kingdom different from what we have now. The guy whom they had invested everything in was going to die, and they were not to stop it from happening. I think we can all agree that was a lot to take in. They had to be overwhelmed with frustration, sadness, and grief.
And, in that grief, they fell asleep. They weren’t trying to be disobedient to their responsibilities or ignore their troubles. They were overcome by them. Distraught. They wanted, like me, to shut the world out and not acknowledge what was going on.
What they missed, is what we miss. Jesus was encouraging them to use the real weapon that we have. The weapon they needed was not a sword, but the help of the Lord that comes through prayer and petition.
He said, “What business do you have sleeping? Get up. Pray so you won’t give in to temptation.”
Luke 22: 45-46 (The Message)
But this just wasn’t a simple prayer so they could move on. It was the kind of prayer that Jesus had just been doing.
He pulled away from them about a stone’s throw, knelt down, and prayed, “Father, remove this cup from me. But please, not what I want. What do you want?” At once an angel from heaven was at his side, strengthening him. He prayed on all the harder. Sweat, wrung from him like drops of blood, poured off his face.
Luke 22:41-44 (the Message)
Jesus poured out his heart to God. He stated what he wished could happen but knew he needed to fulfill God’s will. He was distraught and overcome with anguish. God’s answer to this prayer was to send an angel from heaven to strengthen him. This did not mean everything was going to be alright and God was going to grant Jesus’ request. This was God giving Jesus what he needed to proceed all the way to the cross and not be tempted to go his own way.
This lesson was for the disciples, but it’s for us as well. We pray for what we want then fall asleep to the hardships of this world. We miss the opportunity to acknowledge what we are enduring, to stay awake, and receive the strength we need from God, the strength already available to us. This was the message Jesus was trying to say to his disciples and we need to be aware of as well. Falling asleep to ourselves to avoid the troubles of this world will not lead us anywhere. We can’t ignore the troubles we are experiencing by wishing them away or ignoring them. We have to face them, acknowledge them, and seek God’s help to overcome them.
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