My parents were gone. This was my chance. I went to the cupboard and found what I was looking for and began to eat. It was a can of powdered Kool-Aid. The kind that had the sugar already in it. As a kid, I loved it but, of course, my parents did not want me to eat it straight out of the can. Honestly, I think I liked it more because it was something they told me I wasn’t supposed to have. I really only thought about it when I knew they were gone and I could sneak it. It was like the only reason I longed for it was because they didn’t want me to want it.
Oh, aren’t we humans like this about so many things. Ever since Adam and Eve first became aware of their nakedness and vulnerability (Genesis 3:7) we have lived in the tension of longing for the very thing we hide from or run towards.
We are born into this world not being fully aware of our own vulnerability and our need for others to take care of us. As babies, we don’t consciously realize we have needs. It sure doesn’t take us very long though before we start realizing we need something. Babies cry for food, to have their diapers changed, to be held, and to sleep. We instinctively know we need something and let others know we have those needs.
The definition of longing is a strong desire especially for something unattainable, craving. I certainly was craving that Kool-Aid. Our most sincere desires come from three distinct areas of longing:
- Power & Control
- Security & Safety
- Worth & Value
Throughout our life, we set out to meet these cravings in a variety of ways. And depending on our own personality, one of these may become both the source of our greatest longing and our greatest weakness. For instance, my spirit longs to be at peace. I’ve mentioned before that I do not like conflict. I try to control my inner world and my outer world to keep it peaceful. In some ways, there is nothing really wrong with desiring peace but it’s the longing for control of it that usually leads me directly into the path of conflict. I also long for my presence to make a difference in this world but how can I make a difference in this world if I”m staying at home all the time in order to avoid the drama and conflict I may experience when I’m in the presence of other people. Can you see the dilemma?
The good news though is that we do have a way for our deepest longings to be attained and find freedom from the very thing we fear. Simply, Jesus is the answer. More deeply, God gives us the longings of our heart and God answers the longings of our heart.
For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.
Galations 5:1
Christ came to earth, lived a sinless life, died on the cross, and lives again, just so our relationship with God could be restored and our longings would be answered. All we desire-power, security, worth–come from God through the Son, and through the Holy Spirit.
Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God-truly righteous and holy.
Ephesians 4:20-24
When we feel we need control, are feeling insecure, or needing to know that we matter to someone, we need to remind ourselves that we are not alone and that each of our needs are being met by Jehovah Jireh, our wonderful provider, God.
Next Step
Each person has a core longing that is unique to their own personality. Would you like to discover and explore what your core motivations for doing what you do? As a certified Enneagram Coach, I can provide you with steps to help you identify, name, and break from your thoughts, attitudes, and fears.