“Watch out!” I yelled as my son and husband laughed. My daughter looked at them with annoyance. It was funny, but I tried not to laugh because I knew she would get mad at me. She had unintentionally walked into a pole situated outside a store. Her father and brother had been walking in front of her but parted in order to go around the pole. Since she was behind them, she couldn’t see or be aware of what was coming. She was watching them but not paying attention to the reason they moved.
There were often times we had to tell our kids to be aware of their surroundings. Usually it was our son, not our daughter. He was usually so lost in his imagination, or in thought, that he simply wasn’t paying attention to where he was or what he was doing. It often created some problems for him, like the numerous times he has arrived later than planned because he missed his exit from being lost in thought and listening to music. He has suffered endless teasing from us over the years because of the moments he hasn’t been paying attention.
Probably anyone who has ever driven a car has experienced a similar situation. Like my son, we might miss an exit, or like me, run into the back end of another car because my focus or concentration was elsewhere. Sometimes, we are just so used to doing something, like driving a car, that we just go through the motions without really realizing what we are doing.
What if I were to tell you we needed to pay attention to what goes on internally as much as externally?
Paying attention has become an essential part of my life since I first encountered the Enneagram. This tool has helped me become more aware of the way I think, feel, and behave. Becoming familiar with my core motivations helped me to realize I often pay attention or concentrate on things that cause me to get lost relationally, emotionally, and spiritually. I focus on the wrong things and end up hurting myself and others in the process.
Now, I’m much better at following these words,
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
1 Peter 5:6-8
In this sense, humbling myself before God means I trust in how much God cares for me that I will listen, learn, and allow myself to grow in the things that have brought me anxiety. Being alert to those triggers keeps me one step ahead of the enemy and anything that would try to trip me up.
It’s not enough for us to just take an assessment or discover our personality type. If that’s all we do, then it’s like following blindly behind someone without paying attention. We will just continue to go through life repeating the same old habits and behaviors whether they are good for us or not. Let’s start paying attention to ourselves more humbly and with compassion, so we’ll be more humble and compassionate toward others.
Next Step
Paying attention takes practice and any time we are learning a new behavior it is helpful to have a coach or an accountability partner. An Enneagram or Growth Coach can be a valuable resource. If you would like to take steps to focus on more beneficial practices, reach out now and set up an initial consultation.